"I need help."
Information and Resources Available to Adult CSM Victims
If you believe that you are a victim of clergy sexual misconduct (CSM)/clergy sexual abuse (CSA), help is available. Below you will find helpful information on what steps you can take to help put an end to the abuse and find freedom and healing.
Want to learn more about the signs of CSM? Discover the signs of CSM.
Moving Forward
What Does Help Look Like?
Identify the Situation
If you believe that you are a victim of clergy sexual misconduct, the first step is to simply understand that what is happening to you is actually abuse. The romantic or sexual “relationship” that exists between you and your spiritual leader is not appropriate. It is wrong and it is not your fault. Learn more about how CSM happens and why the victim is not to blame.
Due to victim grooming, it may be difficult for you to settle on the fact that what exists between you and the perpetrator is not “love” but actually abuse. Because of this, it is important to cut off all communication with the perpetrator so that you can think through what is actually occurring and not be further influenced by him/her. This may seem hard to do as oftentimes the perpetrator will try to keep a tight rein on the victim and become angry or hostile if the victim pushes him/her away. This is a form of manipulation and control, not “love.”
Know that clergy sexual misconduct (CSM), also known as clergy sexual abuse (CSA), can happen to both men and women.
If you are not in immediate danger or suicidal, go to a safe place where you can be alone and cannot be reached by the perpetrator.
You can take time to pray and seek the Lord. Perhaps read scriptures that highlight God’s enormous grace and love toward those who come to Him broken and in need (e.g., Matt. 11:28–30 ESV, Ps. 34) and His desire and ability to rescue and protect you (e.g., Ps. 10:17–18, Ps. 71, Ps. 86). Decide to end the abusive relationship permanently and walk away.
