If you believe that you are a victim of clergy sexual misconduct (CSM)/adult clergy sexual abuse (ACSA), help is available. Below you will find helpful information on what steps you can take to help put an end to the abuse and find freedom and healing.
Want to learn more about the signs of CSM? Discover the signs of CSM.
Please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline immediately at 1-800-273-8255. Free and confidential support is available to you 24 hours/7 days a week.
You are not alone and you are valuable. You will be believed and you will get through this with help.
This lifeline also provides crisis help for your loved ones and best practices for professionals.
If so, please consider calling the police immediately. This sends a clear message to the perpetrator that you are aware of their abuse and do not wish to remain in contact.
Examples include, but are not limited to, making repeated and unwanted communications in person or through phone, mail, or the internet; following a victim/spying; making hang-up calls; repeatedly sending unwanted gifts; or making veiled or open threats, including blackmail or threatening to hurt others or themselves if the victim doesn’t comply.
If the perpetrator shows up at your home and refuses to leave, you can call 911 right away, allow the police to handle the perpetrator, and write an official report, which can be used to help secure a restraining order, if needed. Additionally, try your best to maintain any evidence.
Identify the Situation
If you believe that you are a victim of clergy sexual misconduct, the first step is to simply understand that what is happening to you is actually abuse. A romantic or sexual “relationship” between a spiritual leader and a person under his spiritual care is not appropriate. It is unethical, and it is not your fault. Learn more about how CSM happens and why the victim is not to blame.
Because of the impact of victim grooming, recognizing that what exists between you and the perpetrator is not spiritual care or "love" but actually abuse can be challenging. Therefore, it is important to cut off all communication with the perpetrator so that you can think through what is actually occurring and not be further influenced by him. This can be challenging, as the wrongdoer often uses manipulation when the victim attempts to distance themselves. This is a form of control, not “love.”
If you are not in immediate danger or suicidal, go to a safe place where you can be alone and cannot be reached by the perpetrator.
Use this time to learn about CSM and reflect on your experiences. You can also take time to read scriptures that highlight God’s enormous grace and love toward those who come to Him in need (e.g., Matt. 11:28–30 ESV, Ps. 34) and His desire and ability to rescue and protect you (e.g., Ps. 10:17–18, Ps. 71, Ps. 86). Recognize that you are precious and do not deserve abuse. No one deserves to be abused.
Clergy Sexual Misconduct Information and Resources
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