“My Spirituality is Suffering and I Need Help.”

The gospel message speaks of forgiveness of sin and reconciliation with God through faith in the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ (1 Cor. 15:1–4 ESV, Rom. 6:23). When a pastor commits clergy sexual abuse, it is typical for the pastor to tell the victim that the sexual contact is either permitted by God or automatically forgiven without the need for him to genuinely repent. Repentance is the act of turning away from sin with deep remorse and turning to God for forgiveness and reconciliation. In situations such as sexual abuse, it would mean confession as well. However, in order to protect himself, it is common for the pastor to convince the victim that his inappropriate behavior should be kept quiet.

 
The gospel teaches that all have sinned against God and that sin can be forgiven only through the payment for sin that Jesus made on the cross through His sacrificial death and resurrection from the dead (Rom. 3:21–26). This forgiveness, however, must be accompanied by repentance (Luke 13:3, 5), which is evidence of true faith (Matt. 3:8). When a minister of the gospel removes the biblical mandate to turn from sin in repentance to God (Luke 24:46–47) so that he can continue to live a life of sin behind closed doors, he is teaching a perverted gospel message. 

A well-known section of the Bible that is often used by CSM perpetrators to control and abuse victims is the story of King David and Bathsheba (2 Sam. 11, 12:1–25). Typically, the story of King David taking Bathsheba and impregnating her and subsequently killing her husband is twisted into a tale of romance. The abuser may highlight the facts that the son of David and Bathsheba, King Solomon, becomes the wisest king of Israel, and that Jesus descends through their lineage. Because of this, the abuser reasons that David and Bathsheba are blessed by God, despite David taking the married Bathsheba to have sex with her. The abuser reasons that based on this biblical event, the minister sexually contacting the victim is permissible and even “used by God” in some way.

The real “twist” in this situation is that the very passages that the perpetrator is using to justify his sin are the same scriptures that speak to the issue of leadership abuse of power. When confronted with his sin by the Prophet Nathan, King David isn’t accused of helplessly falling in love with a woman who consensually joined him in a mutual sexual relationship. David is told a parable that likens him to a rich man who “took the poor man’s lamb” (2 Sam. 12:4) in the same way he “took” the wife of Uriah (2 Sam. 12:7–9). The result of his abuse of power is not a blessing, but devastating consequences that affect his family’s line: his first son dies and he is plagued with family problems including incest, fighting, and murder (2 Sam. 12:10, 14). Bathsheba is never rebuked for what David did to her. 

However, David does genuinely repent (2 Sam. 12:13, Ps. 51) and his sin is made known publicly, recorded in the Bible for all to see. Unfortunately, this is normally not the route that an abusive pastor wants to take.

This excerpt from Flawed Families of the Bible: How God’s Grace Works through Imperfect Relationships, coauthored by the late Dr. Diana Garland and Dr. David Garland of Baylor’s George W. Truett Theological Seminary, looks again at the story of Bathsheba and David, exploring the dynamics of abuse of power, survival, and God’s working through even the most troubled and troubling family dynamics.  

The gospel message is one of selfless sacrifice. Jesus willingly chose to lay down his life as a sacrifice for sin on the cross (John 10:18), suffering a horrific death and rising from the dead in triumph (Rom. 5:9, 10:9–10). This selfless sacrifice satisfied the wrath of God against sin and made a way for sinful mankind to be reconciled to the Father (Isa. 53:5, Rom. 5:8–9, 1 John 4:10). 

When church leaders respond to an incident of clergy sexual misconduct in a way that protects the interests of the organization above the well-being of the abuse victim, they are operating in contradiction to the gospel message. The choice of the leadership to operate in self-preservation mode communicates to the victim that he/she is the one who must be silenced and sacrificed for the “greater good” of protecting the reputation of the ministry and gospel. This incorrect approach is based out of fear, pride, and a misunderstanding of the power of the gospel, which is not dependent on our attempts to present a flawless image. 

Boz Tchividjian, founder of GRACE (Godly Response to Abuse in a Christian Environment) writes about child abuse in the church:

Why do some churches and Christian organizations seem to struggle with encouraging members to report the suspected abuse of a child? At the heart of the struggle is a fear that is rooted in the need to self-protect. It is a fear of losing the ‘good reputation’ of a ministry, it is a fear of losing ministry donors, it is the fear of losing congregation members, it is a fear of losing a ministry altogether. All such ‘fears’ are usually masked by a rationale that the reporting of such abuse may ‘damage the reputation of Christ’. Do you see the great tragedy? It is a fear fueled by protecting self. This has nothing to do with Jesus.

The Gospel tells Christians that our identity is in Christ alone, and that our reputation and all that we possess belongs to Him. Another way of putting it is that apart from Christ’s accomplishment, we have no reputation and we possess nothing. 

This Gospel-centered perspective gives us great freedom to confess, confront and expose sin without fear of earthly consequences. This Gospel-centered perspective liberates us to sacrifice personal and institutional reputations if doing so protects and preserves the lives of His little ones. Isn’t that what God did for us? He sacrificed His reputation, His supporters, His ministry, and even His very own life in order to protect and redeem. This Gospel-centered perspective should drive us to expend ourselves in protecting children, regardless of the consequences to our church, ministry, or our very own lives.

The next time someone tells you that reporting suspected abuse of children may ‘hurt the reputation of Christ’, tell them to stop protecting themselves. Tell them that the reputation of Jesus is reflected in how we love and protect children. Tell them that the reputation of Jesus is only damaged when we turn away and leave grievous sin alone in the darkness of silence.

God commands His followers to live in the light; that is, to come out of the spiritual darkness where they were once hiding in sin (1 John 1:6–7). By protecting the institution over the victim, leaders are choosing to hide in the darkness and demanding that the victim does the same. The gospel, however, teaches us that Jesus gave His life as a sacrifice so that we can be empowered to come out of darkness and into His glorious light (1 Pet. 2:9) where we find freedom living in truth (John 3:19–21). Ministries can and should learn how to properly respond to clergy sexual misconduct.  

The Bible is clear that because Jesus paid the price for sin in full on the cross, there is “therefore now no condemnation” for those who put their faith in Him (Rom. 8:1). Yet, there exists a spiritual opponent, Satan, who is referred to as the “accuser of our brothers” (Rev. 12:10) and who desires to remind believers of their sin, causing them to feel alienated from God.

When Christians victim shame and blame, they are not gracefully living out the truth of the gospel but are instead functioning in way more akin to the adversary, Satan. Many survivors of CSM refer to their experience of victim shaming and blaming as more traumatizing than the actual abuse itself. This form of retraumatization leaves the vulnerable even more devastated than they were before. In some cases, poorly trained church counselors and lay counselors have further damaged survivors of abuse through victim blaming and shaming as well. Instead of being the healing hands of Jesus, Christians become a tool of the enemy when they choose to blame and shame the victim.

The motivations of those who victim shame and blame vary, but the spiritual reality is that after it occurs, many survivors of CSM leave the faith, deeply hurt and further traumatized. Because of this, Christians should choose to become educated on how to properly respond to abuse in the church and be careful what they say and post on social media in response to public abuse allegations, which can send the tacit message to victims that if they disclose abuse, they will not be believed.

When Christians truly understand the gospel and its implications for daily living, they will operate with grace and tact, moving toward the hurting and vulnerable with a desire to help in the healing process and bring comfort, just as they have been comforted by God (2 Cor. 1:3–4). Survivors will experience God’s healing power through positive, supportive relationships with Christlike believers (1 Thess. 5:11).